July

Watermelon: Citrullus lanatus, a fruit distinct from the ordinary sweet melons, has a long history of cultivation. Surviving wall paintings show that watermelons were cultivated and eaten and in Egypt well before 2000 B.C. Because they were useful as a source of potable liquid they traveled to lands around the Mediterranean as far east as India and, eventually (10th to 12th centuries AD), to China.

When one has tasted watermelon, he knows what the angels eat.     –Mark Twain

                                    Watermelons

Green Buddhas

On the fruit stand.

We eat the smile

And spit out the teeth.

                                                   –Charles Simic

                                  “Wild Fruits”

I know of no more agreeable and nutritious food at this season than bread and butter and melons, and you need not be afraid of eating too much of the latter.–Henry David Thoreau,

We sliced the watermelon into smiles.–Terrance Hayes, whose sonnet repeats this line 14 times. It is well worth saying it 14 times:

We sliced the watermelon into smiles.

We sliced the watermelon into smiles.

We sliced the watermelon into smiles.

Keep going: 11 more times.

What it takes to be a Texas watermelon queen

Farihah Zaman and Jeff Reichert, New York Times

Luling, Texas has been choosing a high school junior to be the Watermelon Thump Queen for well over half a century. Unlike other Queens of Texas (i.e. Peanut, Strawberry, Onion or Rattlesnake), to be Queen of the Watermelon Thump requires running a political campaign. . . . (Watch a short film)

Here’s the beginning of a poem that’s sure to evoke strong memories:

My Mother’s Colander
by Dorianne Laux

Holes in the shape of stars
punched in gray tin, dented,
cheap, beaten by each
of her children with a wooden spoon.

Noodle catcher, spaghetti stopper,
pouring cloudy rain into the sink,
swirling counter clockwise
down the drain, starch slime
on the backside, caught
in the piercings. . . .

from Only As the Day is Long: New and Selected Poems. © W. W. Norton and company, 2019

 

 

June

FOOD SNOB GUILTY PLEASURES

Six Things That Food Snobs Like Even Though They’re Not Supposed To

Jif peanut butter. Yes, it has sugar and hydrogenated oil in it, but corporate peanut butter (Skippy, too) simply tastes better than natural peanut butter, whose oil and solids separate no matter how much they’re stirred, making some mouthfuls feel like an oil slick and others like tile grout.

The other five have equally fun descriptions:

Hot dogs.

Cheez Whiz

Iron Chef

French’s French Fried Onions

Starbucks

from The Food Snob’s Dictionary: An Essential Lexicon of Gastronomical Knowledge, by David Kamp & Marion Rosenfeld

The book is out of print, but you can get a copy of these six guilty pleasures at Monday  and Wednesday lunches. After all, as Roald Dahl reminded us: “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” Dahl included this wisdom in his screenplay for “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” Scholars trace this back to Horace, leading Roman poet who died in 8 B.C. He put it this way:

                       Mingle a little folly with your wisdom;
                       a little nonsense now and then is pleasant.

May

Julia Child advised that “The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.” She also noted, “If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.”  The Sunday New York Times book reviewer doesn’t go quite this far but does advise No to Pseudoscientific Diets! Yes to Less Stress About Food!  

This means “Yes to amping up the vegetables and fruits, and yes to drinking more water, for many reasons. No to detoxing, a pseudoscience word that means nothing. Your liver and kidneys are detoxing as we speak, with no help from kale.”  And if you want to know about the Jane Austen Diet, the reviewer says it’s probably better as a literary romp than as a dieting tome. That said, Austen fans “will enjoy being reminded of how smart she actually is about our health, and how she uses food, eating and exercise as shorthand for character. “

The April 22 New Yorker eat-out columnist complained about the 3 ½ hour wait at a snazzy new restaurant in Manhattan. Once she got in, she had plenty of complaints about the food too: (“plate of mediocre nachos strewn with scrambled eggs”). You can eat at the Charlotte Senior Center on Mondays and Wednesdays with no wait, good company, and a great variety of menus. And for men, there are the Thursday breakfasts twice a month.

APRIL

Jane Kramer, longtime staff writer at The New Yorker, has written the Letter from Europe since 1981, covering culture, politics, and social history. Her 2017 book The Reporter’s Kitchen is food-filled New Yorker pieces including profiles of remarkable chefs, gastronomic history, and her own culinary exploits. These exploits are wildly entertaining and informative, ranging from memorable expat Thanksgivings in Umbria–in July– to  foraging for everything from nettles and yarrow leaves to sea lettuce.  Kramer recounts that it took her two days to make Julia Child’s Beef Wellington, “owing, among other things to the fact that my kitchen was so small then that I had to scrub the hall floor in order to roll out the dough for the pain brioche after each rising.”  About twenty years later her husband said, “I was just wondering, why don’t we have beef Wellington anymore?”

You can find this engrossing account of food around the world at the Charlotte library.

Relive your childhood–and pass it on to the younger generation–with another savory tidbit from a library resource:

  • What’s the difference between an elephant and a cookie?
    • Have you ever tried dunking an elephant in milk?–Joke-Lopedia: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever!  269 pages of groans 818.6 WEI at the Charlotte Library

MARCH

Book Notes: For laugh-out-loud reading, Don’t Try This At Home: Culinary Catastrophes from the World’s Greatest Chefs offers gasps and guffaws.

Famed chef Daniel Boulud, who has more than one disaster tale to share, observes: “One place you don’t ever get lucky is in the kitchen. You either make the food right or you don’t.”

Senior Center cooks would add: Even when you make the food right, things sometimes happen.  We applaud chef Scott Peacock, writing in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Like a dog, biscuit dough can smell fear. But as far as I know, there are no documented cases of a biscuit ever attacking someone. So what if your first batch or two don’t turn out like your father’s memory of his grandmother’s biscuits, or there aren’t angels singing when you take your first bite? Practice makes progress and that’s really what it’s all about–the satisfaction and enjoyment of learning as you go.”

Practice make progress: a motto to live by.

As it happens, The New York Times published Peacock’s recipe for buttermilk biscuits, noting that he does get a little fussy. In another article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution Peacock explained his own family ins and outs regarding biscuits. Who knew biscuits could be such a critical matter? This article was included in Best Food Writing 2008, ed. Holly Hughes

For a warm, funny, touching, and quite wonderful tribute to his momma and her Southern cooking, don’t miss Rick Bragg’s The Best Cook in the World…Tales from my Momma’s Table.

Each heart-warming story ends with one of Momma’s recipes.

Bonus: The Charlotte Library has a copy of Bragg’s book and also an audio with Rick Bragg reading. Not to be missed!

M. F. K. Fisher observed that “Almost every person has something secret he likes to eat.” Are you willing to share your secret? Send it in. You can indicate if you wish to shout it out–or remain anonymous.

Send to: msclass@gmavt.net

This article will give you a lot to think about the next time you drink a glass of milk:

Who Wants to Work on a Vermont Dairy Farm? A Reporter Spent a Week Finding Out 

FEBRUARY

Explore the wonderful cookbook section of the Charlotte Library. Here are a few suggestions for February.

This cookbook, of delicious home-style recipes and stories from Syria by a refugee woman…carries in a true spirit of America. America, the place people across the world come to for comfort, safety, a better future for their children.–Francis Lam, host of The Splendid Table

Try the Everyday Chicken Schawarma. When we served this at the Senior Center, it met with great enthusiasm

Try Tuna Pomodoro or Mustard Crusted Salmon

Try the Poppy Seed Coleslaw